Chapters 9 - 14
by: Louise Palanker
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CHAPTER 9 � Playing Loud
Lainie wasn�t allowed to play the drums, but she was getting really good at playing the boxes and the desk and the suitcase. Drumming was not just something Lainie liked to do. It was something she needed to do. The day of the �incident,� she cranked up her turntable with Simon and Garfunkel singing, �Somewhere They Can�t Find Me.� She was drumming with all her might and anger when her brother started pounding on the door.
�Stop drumming!� he yelled,
Lainie sighed and stopped drumming on the boxes and suitcases and started drumming on the bed and pillows. Her sister banged on the door.
�Stop drumming!�
Lainie had too much rage to stop drumming, so she kept drumming, quietly, on one very soft pillow. That wasn�t good enough. She heard the angry footsteps approaching from down the hall. The door burst open and her mother charged in. She fixed her daughter with a distorted glare, marched over and grabbed the drumsticks. �You may never get these back!� she barked as she stormed out of the room. Good thing she didn�t take the pillow too because Lainie needed that to cry into.
January 14, 1970
My mom took my drumsticks. I wonder if Isaac Stern�s mother ever took his violin. I bet she didn�t because she�s probably a normal mother who isn�t always in a bad mood. Those are MY drumsticks given to me by Jeremy and The Bible says, �Thou shalt not steal.� It�s a commandment. And, even though no one ever says thou or shalt anymore, it�s still true. You�re not supposed to take things that aren�t yours just because you�re in a bad mood even if you are ALWAYS in a bad mood.
Hey, guess what? Right now, I�m in a bad mood. I�m in a VERY bad mood!!!
CHAPTER 10 � Facing The World
Lainie kept her head low as she and Lois got off the bus and walked towards school.
�Is anyone looking at me?� She asked Lois.
�Um, no not really.�
Lainie raised her head slowly and looked around as she approached the steps. Then she stopped and readjusted her books, stalling.
�Come on, Lainie. We�re gonna miss the bell.�
Lainie took a deep breath, picked her head up and started up the steps.
The voice came from behind.
�Hey, it�s the Spurdle Girdle Girl!�
It was Peter Haskell, a kid she barely knew. She lowered her head as he bumped up next to her and elbowed her in the chest.
�Cut it out!� yelled Lainie.
Peter took off running and laughing.
Lainie stopped walking and clutched her books to her stomach.
�I can�t go in there.�
�What are you going to do, become a drop-out?� asked Lois.
�I could learn a trade,� said Lainie. �Maybe welding.�
�Lainie, you have to get this over with and act like you don�t care.�
�Act like I don�t care.�
�Yes.�
Lois walked up close to Lainie and whispered, �what are you wearing under there today?�
�Just the under shirt.�
�Why won�t you just wear the bra?�
�Because I�m afraid of it. I know it sounds stupid.�
Lois wrinkled her eyebrows and bit her lower lip.
�Yeah, but� my Aunt Donna is afraid of dogs. We have to lock Button in the cellar when she comes over.
Lainie started to smile and said, �My little brother�s afraid of worms. He won�t go outside after it rains.�
�See. Lot�s of people are weird,� said Lois.
�Come on. Let�s go to school,� said Lainie.
It wasn�t as bad as Lainie thought it was going to be. Yes, Gretchen and her friends called her �Spurdle Girdle� and giggled together all the way through lunch. Yes, Peter Haskell kept running up and trying to elbow her in the chest while his friends laughed but the last time he did it Lois called him a stupid perv and Peter ducked away and asked his friends what that meant.
By English class, Lainie had started to relax. Mr. Bruner was talking about what the Mississippi River represents in Huckleberry Finn. This was pretty interesting to Lainie because she didn't know a river could represent anything other than a river. Clayton Murray raised his hand and said he thought the river represents freedom.
�Oh, my Gosh, he�s so smart,� thought Lainie. �He�s just about the smartest boy I�ve ever known.� The problem was she didn�t really know him.
Just then, something happened inside Lainie and she felt herself raising her hand.
�Lainie,� Mr. Bruner said.
�I think the river also represents danger.�
�Can you explain that, Lainie?�
�Well, it�s dangerous to be floating down a river on a raft anyway but also with an escaped slave it was dangerous. And even though he was running from his mean Daddy who was dangerous, the river is also dangerous and being with Jim was dangerous so the river was, um� teaching Huck to be brave?�
�That�s very good,� Lainie. The river was helping Huck face his fears. �Anyone else?�
Nobody spoke for a moment and then Cyndi Finderbeem said,
�Very good, Spurdle Girdle.�
�I�m sorry, Cyndi, did you have something to add?� asked Mr. Bruner.
By this time, Lainie�s face was so red she thought it might be smoking.
�No, I was just thinking out loud.�
�Well, think to yourself please and let�s move on. Who else has some thoughts about the river?�
Lainie knew that Clayton had heard Cyndi�s comment and she knew she would never be able to look at him or nod to him again because he must think she�s the biggest freak on the face of the earth.
When the class ended she collected her books, focusing very hard on this task with her head down. That�s why she didn�t hear him come up to her.
�That was a good point you made about danger.�
It was Clayton�s voice.
Lainie slowly raised her head and looked at him. His eyes were very clear and alert. She�d never seen his face this close before and it was such a nice face, it made her sort of woozy. Lainie felt herself smiling as her brain told her mouth to say, �Thank you.� �That was pretty lame what Cyndi said.�
�Um�� was the only thing that struggled out of Lainie�s mouth. And then, �Um, yeah.�
By this time, Lainie and Clayton were walking into the hallway.
�I mean what�s the big deal, anyway?� he said.
�About��
�About whatever it is people are saying you� have on, I mean.�
Lainie could feel her face getting hotter and hotter.
�Well, it�s just that it�s, you know, embarrassing. I��
�If I were wearing jockey shorts and briefs, would you think that was weird?�
�No, I� I don�t know too much about what boys wear.�
�Probably more than I know about what girls wear.�
He smiled at her.
�Oh.� Lainie smiled back, but her brain was completely out of anything else to say.
�I gotta go,� Clayton said.
�Um, Clayton,� she said as she forced words into her head.
�Yeah?�
�I liked what you said about the river and freedom.�
�Oh, thanks.� He said. �I�ll see ya!�
She watched him walk away but only for a second because she was late for her next class and she was very busy absorbing what this boy had just said to her while she tried to walk as fast as the thoughts racing through her mind. First and foremost� what just happened was that she and Clayton Murray had had a conversation, on top of which, they had a conversation about underwear! This was so entirely monumental, it toppled every other thought racing through her head and lodged itself into a place from which no other thought would ever loosen it. But new thoughts came flying past the monumental thought. Thoughts like,
�Are Clayton and I friends now?�
�Does he think I�m smart?�
�Does he think I�m pretty?�
�Will he talk to me ever again?�
�Will we talk on the phone one day about life and people and Huckleberry Finn and UNDERWEAR?� Oh, my Gosh there was no avoiding that giant thought. It was interfering with every new thought� every old thought� every curious thought.
�What�s the difference between jockey shorts and briefs?�
January 15, 1970
Clayton Murray talked to me. It gets even more interesting. He talked to me about underwear, and if you really stop to think about the horrible event which happened to me, where I was barged in on by that icky Gretchen and her silly friends and how that awful event somehow led to Clayton Murray talking to me, you have to just stop and say, Thank you, God. That was a run-on sentence but it doesn�t matter because way more important than grammar is the fact that Clayton Murray talked to me and he talked to me like we had always been talking. Just like, hey, let�s talk because we�ve always been talking when all we�ve ever done is nod, which doesn�t mean a whole lot other than, hey, you�re worth nodding at. But now I�m worth talking to PLUS he doesn�t think I�m weird! Which is so major because the honest truth is that when the horrible event happened to me, I felt like I could maybe one day face the school. I just didn�t want to face him, and now the ONLY person, besides Lois who actually told me they don�t think I�m weird is CLAYTON MURRAY! Amazing. So, since this life altering thing happened to me. I am feeling very brave. I am going to sneak into my parents� room to find my drumsticks (which is not stealing because they are mine) and tomorrow� I am going to wear the training bra� alone, by itself.
CHAPTER 11 � The Discovery
This was the perfect time. Annie was at a friend�s house. Mom had taken Kurt to the dentist and Dad, of course, was at work. Lainie had to go rescue the drumsticks. They were, after all, hers. She walked gently into her parents� room. Sure, she knew no one was home but this was their private sanctuary and she had never felt welcome in there. From the time she was little, her parents would go into their room and shut the door and you better not knock unless you�re on fire. This place was definitely off limits but Lainie felt a sense of righteousness in retrieving her most valued possession. She walked slowly and carefully so as not to disrupt anything or leave any footprints.
Upon first glance, there was no sign of the drumsticks. They could be anywhere. Lainie felt very sneaky but she started opening drawers and looking in closets. Nothing but clothes and papers and books and things and then something caught her eye.
It was just another book in a closet, but there was something about it that drew her closer as she reached to pull it off a shelf. The cover was worn and faded. In dusty, gold letters it said �Journal.�
Lainie�s eyes grew very wide as she held it and stared at it. She opened it to the first page and read these words:
Feb. 11, 1944 - Friday
We boarded the SS Uruguay at 10 A.M. after being served coffee on the dock by the Red Cross. I am on the promenade deck with my bunk the third one up.
I wonder if and when I will ever see the states again.
January 16, 1970
I went into my parents� room to look for my drumsticks and I found my father�s war journal. I took it. OK, now listen� this is not stealing. This is borrowing because of course it�s his and I will return it and yes I know he told me not to read it until I�m older but I really, really, really need to read it right now. I know I�m doing something I was told not to do but I�m trying to use judgment, like Huckleberry Finn when he helps Jim. I need to read this journal and I will put it right back where I found it when I�m done and no one will ever know.
CHAPTER 12 � The Teenaged Soldier
No one was home, but Lainie still closed and locked her door before she sat on her bed and opened her father�s journal. Out from between the first two pages fell a picture of her father during the war, or maybe it was from boot camp. He stood in front of some barracks, holding a rifle. He wore a helmet and his uniform, which hung loosely off his skinny frame. She stared at the face and the eyes that looked so much like hers. He was so young. How scared was he? She opened the journal and began to read�
Feb. 12, 1944 - Sunday
We set sail today on the same date and from the same port that my father and mother landed in, twenty-three years ago. The food is good. My cold is worse.
March 24, 1944 � Friday
I wrote a letter to Ruth.
April 10, 1944 � Monday
I was given a few shots, a physical and sent to a camp near King Standing in England. I am living in a tent with five other fellows.
June 6, 1944 � Tuesday
Last night, planes were heard continuously from dusk to dawn. Today our first sergeant read us the communication announcing that Allied troops had landed in France and a big cheer went up from the ranks.
June 21, 1944 � Wednesday
My unit received orders to ship out. We are in a marshalling area now near Southhampton. From here we board ship for France. I don�t feel scared now, although I expect to be in the future. In a way I feel anxious to get underway for the sooner the fight is won, the sooner we go home.
Chapter 13 � Slammed Door
Lainie heard her mother�s car pull into the garage. She carefully placed the photo back into the journal, closed the journal and looked around the room for a place to hide it. She chose a shoebox where she kept other treasures and placed it on a top shelf in her closet. Then she left her room to say hello to her mother who was in a bad mood because Kurt had three cavities and was jumping around the room singing the Petula Clark song, �Downtown� at the top of his lungs. Lainie thought it was funny. Lainie�s mom went into her room and slammed the door.
January 16, 1970 (continued)
Sometimes I feel like I will never be happy until I get away from home. In my Dad�s journal he�s going to France to fight the war and all he wants is to get back home.
June 22, 1944 � Thursday
I was given eighty rounds of ammunition, K-rations, seasick pills and sulfa pills. Also a small book on French and one on German. We must be ready to leave on five minutes� notice.
June 26, 1944 � Monday
I just went up on deck to get my first look at France. We got orders yesterday at 7 P.M. to leave the marshalling area and board an L.S.T. It was like entering the mouth of a huge whale. We left England at 8 A.M. this morning. I played cards all afternoon to keep my mind off the German subs.
According to the sports announcement over the BBC, Buffalo split a double header with Baltimore yesterday. I wonder if Dad and Bernard saw the game.
We will wait off shore tonight and disembark tomorrow morning at high tide. I am going to sleep now. It will probably be my last sleep in a long time in a real bed.
CHAPTER 14 � A Knock On The Door
Lainie was reading anxiously, way past her bedtime when she heard the knock on her door. She hid the journal under her covers.
�Come in.�
It was her father.
�You�re still up.�
�Yeah, I�m just reading.�
�You should put the light out and go to sleep.�
�Dad?�
�Yes?�
�What was your job in the war?�
�I was an anti-air craft gunner.�
�You shot down planes?�
�Yes.�
�Did you kill people?�
�I think I did.�
�That�s sad, isn�t it?�
�It is� but I killed people who were trying to kill me.�
�Were they dropping bombs on you?�
�We�ll talk about this another time. I don�t want you to have bad dreams.�
�OK, good night, Dad.�
�Good night.�
He closed the door and Lainie reached for the journal. There was no way she could stop reading now.
June 28, 1944 � Wednesday
Yesterday at 7 A.M. I disembarked in France. There were wrecked barges on the beach. Montebourg was the first town we went through and no words can describe the shape of that town. Hardly a building stood untouched by our bombs. We next passed through Volognes, which looked still worse. The people stood all along the road and waved to us. We then proceeded through Cherbourgh, which had just been taken. Gliders could be seen on many fields. The artillery can be heard pounding away at German strong points west of Cherbourgh. One of our truck drivers killed a German with his machine gun last night. I slept in a slit trench last night and got a good night�s sleep.
Today I was assigned to a gun position and I like it here. A P51 accidentally strafed C Battery's gun position and killed two of our men. We can still hear the artillery.