Chapters 30 - 34
by: Louise Palanker
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CHAPTER 30 � Blowing Up
During lunch, Lainie saw Clayton Murray and Gretchen Alder going over their lines together. Lainie wondered how long it was going to take Clayton to realize there was nothing in her store. He sure seemed to be doing a lot of browsing.
Lois noticed Lainie staring at the two of them.
�Look,� she said, �I told you he likes you too, didn�t I?�
�That doesn�t make it much easier to watch them.�
�Then don�t watch them,� said Lois. �You don�t see me going over to Mr. Helfenstein�s house to watch him kiss his wife, do you?�
�No, because you would probably get arrested.�
Lois suddenly got anxious.
�Do you think he kisses his wife?� asked Lois.
Lainie had suddenly had it with Lois� ridiculous fixation on her married swim coach.
�No,� she said, sarcastically, �I�m sure he hires someone to kiss his wife for him because all he can think about all day is you.�
�Why are you being so mean?� asked Lois.
�Because I think your crush on Mr. Helfenstein is so stupid I could barf!� yelled Lainie and with that, she got up, took her tray back and stormed out of the cafeteria.
February 7, 1970
I am a really horrible friend and even worse, I�m turning into my mother. I yelled at Lois for no reason and she is my very best friend and I don�t know what to do to fix this� but I have to fix it.
CHAPTER 31 � No Apologies
The next morning Lois wouldn�t talk to Lainie. When Lainie tried to apologize, Lois just told Lainie to shut up and kept walking. So Lainie yelled after her,
�If you won�t even let me apologize than you�re not really my friend, are you?� Lois wouldn�t answer or turn around. She just kept walking.
The next morning, Lois still wouldn�t talk to Lainie. And Lois wouldn�t talk to Lainie on the morning after that or the morning after that. Then the weekend came. Lainie couldn�t remember a weekend without Lois. They always did something together. They�d go to the movies or the mall or the plaza or they�d just go to each other�s houses and listen to records and look at teen magazines. But when she woke up Saturday morning, Lainie remembered that she and Lois were not best friends anymore and she didn�t know how to fix it.
Lainie�s father always worked on Saturdays because he sold ladies� coats and his store was always open on Saturdays. Sometimes she went with him to work because her Mother had something else to do all day. Lainie was usually bored at her father�s store because she wasn�t very interested in Ladies� coats. But today, she asked her father if she could go to work with him. He said she could and in the car, she told her father what had happened with Lois.
Lainie told her father she had tried to fix it but Lois wouldn�t listen. Her father said,
�Sometimes these things need a little time.�
After a couple of hours at her father�s store, Lainie realized she was just as bored here as she had ever been. She almost picked up the phone to call Lois because Lois really liked to try on the coats in the store and maybe she would stop being mad and her mother could drop her off. But it was almost lunch time and Lainie loved going to lunch with her father in the restaurant next door because it was a cafeteria and her father always let her get a slice of cherry pie. So Lainie never called Lois and Lainie figured Lois probably wouldn�t have come to the phone anyway.
February 20, 1945 � Tuesday
We cut cards last night for the best guard shift. I cut an ace of clubs. Quite a few shells are coming in. Close enough to make it worth ducking.
I have been able to keep my distance from Salvati, the guy who hates me because I�m Jewish. He thinks I�m the cause of this war. As far as I�m concerned, people like him are the cause of this war.
March 3, 1945 � Saturday
Last night I had the closest call of my life. Every night, four of us sleep at the gun and last night I slept at the gun together with Charles, Herb and Bettar. We take turns staying awake.
At ten-o-clock, a German plane came over. It was a light night and he must have seen our gun because he strafed us and dropped anti-personnel bombs. I heard the shrapnel fly all around us. I hit the ground fast. When it was over, the raincoat I was wearing had five holes in it. Three duds lay within ten yards and there was a hole three feet from my head where an A.P. had landed and exploded. An outfit nearby had four killed.
March 4, 1945 � Sunday
We moved today and are now on the East Side of the Erft canal. Civilians can be seen on the road, carrying their valuables in every type of vehicle imaginable. They had been living in dugouts on the side of the hill.
March 13, 1945 � Tuesday
We moved into a new position next to the Rhine in a village. There were two houses near by and after a little hesitation, we decided to take the cream colored one. Last night, a shell hit the other one, destroying it. What a life!
March 21, 1945 � Wednesday
Today, on the first day of Spring, at 7:55, we crossed the Rhine River on a pontoon bridge and set up 500 yards this side of the super highway, which runs south to Frankfurt. We are now in Germany.
CHAPTER 32 � What Boys Want
On Monday morning, Lois was still not talking to Lainie. It was getting kind of weird because they would both talk to Denise and Tracy, but neither Lainie nor Lois would talk to each other. This went on all week, and Lainie did her best not to think about it. After all, she was making a lot of new friends who were in the play. Even 8th graders were talking to her. Lainie was trying her best to convince herself that she didn�t care if Lois ever talked to her again.
Another weekend went by without Lois. Lainie saw a movie with Kurt on Saturday and on Sunday she went over to Tracy�s house. Tracy�s brother had a drum set in the basement and he wasn�t home, so Tracy and Lainie could play them as much as they wanted. It was fantastic and Lainie found herself thinking about Lois only once or twice on Saturday and not at all on Sunday.
On Monday in English class Clayton Murray kept making Lainie laugh by quoting lines from Bye Bye Birdie. She would quote lines back to him and between the two of them they could get through an entire scene without Mr. Bruner noticing. By the time class ended, they were both more than ready to crack up laughing. Clayton walked with Lainie down the hallway after class and he probably noticed that when they passed Lois, she ignored them.
On the bus ride home, Lois kept her head pressed up against the window and wouldn�t even look at Lainie. So Lainie decided to take a chance and sit next to her. Lois squeezed closer against the window.
Lainie sighed and Lois suddenly swung around and said,
�I hope you don�t think that Clayton Murray actually likes you!�
�You told me he likes me.�
�Yeah, well, now I know the truth.�
�What truth?�
�Boys only want one thing.�
�What�s that?�
�Sex.�
�Sex?�
�My grandmother told me everything and it�s not good.�
Lainie was thrilled that Lois was at least talking to her, even if they were talking about something as scary as sex.
�What do you mean, not good,� said Lainie.
�My grandmother said that as soon as boys turn 12, all they think about is sex, and if they�re talking to you it�s not because they like you, it�s only because they want sex and they don�t stop thinking about sex until they turn 95 years old and now that you�re a woman, the only men who are safe to talk to are the ones who are younger than 12 and older than 95, which pretty much rules out almost everyone!�
Lainie just sat there staring at Lois. She had nothing at all to say. The only word she could even think of was, �What?�
Finally, Lainie said,
�You�re Grandmother told you all this?�
�My Grandmother has had three husbands, so believe me, she knows what she�s talking about.�
Their bus arrived at their stop and Lainie and Lois got off silently and started walking silently.
Finally Lois said,
�I�m still really mad at you. I�m just telling you this for your own good.�
They walked a little further and then Lainie said,
�Thanks.�
Then they got to the corner where Lois turned towards her house. Lainie said,
�Good-bye,�
And Lois waved slightly with her head down as she walked away.
At first, as Lainie walked she thought, �Lois is just saying all this because she�s still mad,� but the more she walked, the more she thought and by the time she was getting to her house she was thinking, �What if it�s true?�
When Lainie walked into the house, her mother was in the kitchen singing to herself but even though her mother seemed to be in a good mood, Lainie ignored her and went into her room and shut the door.
February 23, 1970
I just had the most devastating conversation with Lois on the bus. She said that after boys turn 12, all they ever think about is sex until they�re 95. It�s not like I�m saying I don�t ever think about sex because I do think about it. Just not all the time! Well, guess what? I don�t believe Lois because I�ve been reading Dad�s diary from February 11, 1944 until March 21, 1945. That�s over a year and he has never written anything about sex.
Of course that doesn�t mean he wasn�t thinking about it. And there weren�t any girls in this war, were there? What if it�s true?
March 31, 1945 � Saturday
Our mission has been changed again and we are now protecting Corps headquarters. We moved sixty miles to Marburg and have our gun set up on a street corner. Civilians passing by on the streets make it interesting compared to the many monotonous hours out in the middle of nowhere. We don�t even have any shells to sweat out and are living in a nice, modern house. I never saw so many officers as in this town.
April 4, 1945 � Wednesday
Corps moved in. Nick and I have been manning together now for three days and nights. I�m so tired I don�t get up to eat.
April 6, 1945 � Friday
I feel much better today since I caught up a little on my sleep. I got a letter from Mom today. I wish she didn�t worry so much about me. Nick was on the gun today when seven ME 109s came over. When he pulled back the bolt to throw a round in the chamber, two rounds went off accidentally and knocked a couple of bricks out of the colonel�s house. However, there was so much noise, that the colonel never realized what happened. The planes did not attack but flew away.
The Burgomaster (mayor) of this town lives in the house next to where my machine gun is set up. He asked me to please keep a look out for any civilians that might want to kill him. Apparently, the mayor of Achen was killed by fanatic Nazis only a month or so ago.
CHAPTER 33 � What Boys Think
The moment she heard her father�s door open that night, Lainie went to meet him in the kitchen. She stood there, fidgeting with her fingers as her father said, �Hello.� Of course he would know that something was really bothering her this time. So he just waited for her to talk.
�Dad?�
�Yes, Sweety?�
Lainie took a very big breath because, after all, she was about to ask her father about sex and how could that be easy for any girl? �Um, Dad, uh, Lois told me that boys only talk to girls because they want sex and that when boys turn 12, all they think about when they�re with a girl is sex until they turn 95.�
Lainie breathed again and stared at her father to see how he was absorbing this very, very personal question.
Her father took a seat at the table and asked,
�Where did she hear this?�
�From her Grandmother.�
�Well,� said her father, �I�m sure her Grandmother was trying to protect her from��
�From what?�
Lainie was very anxious for the answer to this question. But it wasn�t coming very quickly.
�From��
Her father rubbed his eyes and clenched his teeth. Lainie was pretty sure she saw sort of a grimace.
�Gosh,� thought Lainie, �How come it took him no time at all to tell my that my mother goes to a psychiatrist, but it�s taking him forever to tell me about sex?�
Her father took a very big breath and than started his sentence again.
�Lainie, yes, it�s true that boys think about sex.�
�All the time?�
Her father looked right at her.
�Often. Boys do think about sex often. But boys think about a lot of things, just like girls do. And thinking about sex does not make a person ready to have sex.�
�But when they�re talking to a girl, are they only thinking about sex?�
�Well, sex will certainly cross a boy�s mind when he�s with a girl but that does not mean he�s expecting or even trying to have sex with that girl. Is this making any sense to you at all?�
�It�s pretty confusing.�
�You know, I remember, when I was young, I wanted to find out about girls and be around girls. If I liked a girl, I wanted to be near her, be in her company just because I liked being around her.�
�You did?�
�And it wasn�t because I wanted or expected sex. I just wanted or needed to spend time with that girl.�
�Oh.�
�Now, I�m not saying that the thought of sex didn�t cross my mind, it just��
�It�s OK, if you don�t say anymore, Dad.�
�Alright.�
�I just� I wanted to know what this one boy is thinking who talks to me.� Lainie put her head down so her father wouldn�t see her blush.
�He�s talking to you because he likes you, Lainie.�
Lainie finally smiled.
�Thank you, Dad,� she said as she hugged him. Then she walked back to her bedroom, completely drained and relieved all at once.
February 23, 1970 (continued)
Dad says that boys don�t think about sex always, and that it�s not the only reason they talk to girls. I guess I already knew that boys think about sex, and that�s very scary and very interesting all at the same time, but I didn�t want it to be the only reason a boy would talk to me. Dad says it isn�t so Lois is wrong and she�s still mad at me.
CHAPTER 34 � Painful Words
On Tuesday morning, Lainie tried to say hello to Lois but it didn�t work. Lois was ignoring her again. Lainie wanted to tell Lois what her father had said about boys, but that was between Lainie and her father and if Lois was going to be this way about everything, then too bad for her. Lainie wasn�t even sure anymore if Lois was mad at Lainie or mad at her Grandmother or mad at God for making boys think about sex so much.
The Bye Bye Birdie performance was a little over two weeks away and Miss Galistorfer told the kids that they were nowhere near ready. She raised her voice and stomped her foot and said that people better get serious and learn their lines and places or there would be no show! But, Ricky Rosen, an eighth grader, told Lainie that Miss Galistorfer says that every year.
Lainie knew her lines. All she had to do was scream and swoon. She knew all the songs, even the ones she wasn�t in. Clayton Murray knew all his lines and songs and so did most of the kids except Peter Haskell who played Conrad Birdie and Gretchen Alder. When it came time for one of Gretchen�s lines there would be a pause and then she would make a funny face and say, �Is that my line?� Clayton would sometimes turn away from Gretchen and raise his eyebrows at Lainie in mock horror. That would make Lainie giggle and then Miss Galistorfer would stomp her foot and say,
�People we need to get serious.�
Lainie wanted to get through this rehearsal quickly because today was the swim team�s first meet and she wanted to go over to the pool and root for Denise and Tracy. Maybe she�d root for Lois too. She�d see how she felt when she got there.
But the rehearsal dragged on and on because of Gretchen and Peter and finally when it ended, Lainie picked up her things and started running for the door. Clayton Murray yelled,
�Where are you going?�
Lainie stopped to answer him,
�To the swim meet. Do you you wanna come?�
Before he could answer, Gretchen Alder said very loudly to Martha Castle,
�I can�t believe Clayton is talking to that stupid Lainie Spurdle.�
Lainie wanted to turn and say, �Shut up,� but that would have made her seem even more stupid. Then Gretchen called out,
�Clayton! We�re going to the plaza. Wanna come?�
Clayton gave Lainie a sort of sad look and then he said,
�I�ll see you, Lainie.� and left to go with Gretchen and Martha.
Lainie�s face was flaming red and by the time she walked down the hall and through the gym and sat down in the steamy bleachers of the poolroom, she thought she might pass out.
Lainie waved to Denise and Tracy but Lois wouldn�t even look at her and Lainie had just about had it with everything so she walked out of the pool room, down the hall and outside into the fresh, cold air and then she ran most of the way home.
When Lainie walked into the house after school, her mother was in the kitchen on the phone. Her mother waved at Lainie and said hello. Lainie was pretty sure that was for the benefit of the person her mother was talking to, so Lainie kept walking into her bedroom and shut the door.
April 12, 1945 � Thursday
We moved ninety miles to Nordhausen, but on the way, the track broke down three times. After a three-hour delay, we got it started by making a gasket out of the tongue of my shoe. We went a few miles and the trailer fell apart. It took us an hour to get it fixed but after we started out again, a low hanging branch tore an ammo chest clean off. We got here at six p.m., a ten-hour trip. We set up our two tents in the city park and are manning the 50 and 40.
April 13, 1945 � Friday
This city has a concentration camp and there are about 3,000 dead in it. It was the most terrible sight I ever saw. Besides those in the cells, there were a thousand lying on the ground outside in four columns.
Ninety percent had been starved until they could no longer walk and then they were shot in the head just before we entered this city. They were mostly Poles, Greeks, Czechs and Russians. They were nothing but purely skin and bone. There were even a few babies. A few were found alive but their stomachs were so shrunken that they will not live. The civilians in this town are being made to carry them out and they are using blankets, boards, etc. to do it. They all claim that they did not know what was going on in here. I don�t believe any of them.
Nordhausen is a name I will never forget.